STOP Caring What People Think. This Is the Exact Skill That Changes Everything | Your Mind, Your Rules Podcast #6 Caroline Stanbury & Sergio Carrallo

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This episode of Your Mind, Your Rules features Caroline Stanbury, Real Housewives of Dubai star, entrepreneur and podcaster, alongside her husband Sergio Carrallo, former Real Madrid footballer, on the rules behind a relationship that lasts and a life rebuilt from nothing.

Caroline opens up about the moment she stopped caring what people think, why it's a skill that has to be learned, and how she rebuilt everything after a divorce, a court case and losing it all. She and Marisa go deep into the three non-negotiables every lasting relationship needs, why best friend chemistry is the glue most couples are missing, and how she and Sergio make it work across a twenty year age gap.

There's also the conversation every aspiring entrepreneur needs to hear. Caroline lays out the exact rules behind eleven successful businesses, why manifesting without action keeps people stuck, and the principle most successful people follow that nobody talks about. Sergio shares the daily morning practice that keeps him moving toward his goals, and the two of them redefine what success actually means once you have it.

In this episode:

The skill of no longer caring what people think

The three non-negotiable rules every lasting relationship needs

Why scheduling intimacy can save a marriage, not kill it

The exact mindset behind rebuilding a life from nothing

The unspoken rule that separates successful people from everyone else

Why peace, not money, is the real definition of success

This is part of the Your Mind, Your Rules podcast, focused on helping you understand the patterns and beliefs that shape your results and how to change them.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

So welcome to another edition of Your Mind Your Rules, my podcast where I talk to people who are really playing the game by their own rules. And I love Caroline and Sergio. I love Caroline because she's what I call a rule breaker. My favorite people are people who've made it on their own, who break every rule, and really don't care. And one of the things I do like about you, I find very interesting, is that you don't care what people think of you. So I want to ask you about that because so many people would love to have that, but they're also terrified of having that. And they can't help but be very concerned with how they're perceived. So tell me, when did you know that you didn't care what people thought about you and how has that benefited your life?

SPEAKER_00 0:43

Well, let me just preface that with that doesn't happen overnight. I think, you know, anybody that tells you they don't care about other people's opinions lies, right? To begin with, because you know, it takes a long time to master that skill, and it is mastering a skill because when you're at school, you want to fit in. I mean, everything about the life I've had up till now is about fitting in, conforming. You have to conform to be a certain way. You march down to breakfast, you went to boarding school, we all dress the same, we all look the same. You didn't want to stand out, you didn't want everybody to notice you at school, really. So even all our clothes when we went shopping, we'd all buy the same thing. I remember Jigsaw was really in at the time, and everyone would just have this kind of uniform. So, you know, and then you went to school, and then you were meant to get your job, and then you were meant to get, you know, build your business and get married and do all the right things. And I did all of those things, you know. I realized that I've conformed and did what everyone told me to do for a long, long time because I didn't want people to think badly of me or to talk behind my back or to all of these things. But then, you know, as I grew up and I sort of did everything for everybody else, I understood that that doesn't really get you anywhere. You don't get extra praise for conforming and listening to others and doing what you're told. We've always been told what to do. And then I was thinking, why, why do I listen to other people? Because these it's built on rules that simply don't exist anymore. You know, and I realized just by internalizing what these people were saying about me or what the ideal olive ideology is, that they just these rules don't apply to the world we live in today. You know, you don't want to blend in, you have to stand out, you don't want to do what everyone else does, just you know, and have a basic marriage or a basic life or you know, never achieve greatness. And if you the only way you could be successful is to really understand you and your own path and to block out the noise. It doesn't mean I don't hear it. I hear it, but I don't, I've chosen not to get affected by it. I'll have to thank housewives for that.

SPEAKER_01 2:56

I mean, that's a good thing when you can say I hear it, but I don't let it in, because one of the keys to being really happy is to not let in destructive criticism. The very reason that one person will like you, I mean someone else doesn't. We can't, you know, none of us say, Hey, I like everybody. I don't like everybody. So if everybody doesn't like me, that's okay because I can't say I like everyone in the world. And for people who worry about being liked, just ask if do you like everybody? If the answer is no, then don't worry that someone doesn't like you or get you or isn't in an energetic fit. You also can't control that. Of course you can't control it.

SPEAKER_00 3:30

So I can't I could want you to like me. You may not like me, and there's nothing I can do that's going to make you like me unless I try buying your affection or taking you places or sucking up to you, which is even worse when somebody doesn't like you.

SPEAKER_01 3:44

Yeah, because then what happens is you don't like yourself. You go, okay, I'm I'm gonna buy you, I'm gonna change, I'm gonna impress you. Now you like me, but I don't like me because of what I've done to make you like me. So you're still lost because in making someone else like you, you kind of don't like yourself.

SPEAKER_00 3:59

Also, I don't know about you. I get this like feeling in the pit of my stomach that it just isn't right. It feels like it's not a natural conversation because you know that you're on your best foot. You can't fully relax, you're always trying to be a certain person to make you like me.

SPEAKER_01 4:14

And actually, real peace is liking yourself, liking who you are and feeling good about yourself. That's real peace. It's probably also real success. But I want to talk about relationship rules because relationships do have rules, different rules for different people. But I know that people are fascinated with you and Sergio's relationship. So can you share some of your non-negotiable rules? Because I think in a relationship, you have rules, like I would say in my marriage, if my husband didn't tell me where he was at three in the morning, that would be non-negotiable. I expect him to call me. I have another rule about being tidy, which I've realized he can never meet. So I do that bit myself, and then there's a some rules you just have to give up. So every relationship, every marriage has non-negotiable rules, negotiable rules, and rules, it's easier to give them up than try to enforce them because it just affects your relationship. What are your rules that are non-negotiable?

SPEAKER_03 5:06

Or Casey's very interesting because of the age gap that we have. So I think she has much like many more non-negotiables than me. I'm a bit more flexible because you know I'm younger.

SPEAKER_00 5:16

I mean, you have a list of I had things that I didn't want. But I'm, you know, there are things I compromised on, right? Had he not been this age, I wouldn't have got married again. I didn't really need to. Um, I understood why it was so important to him. Um, you know, the other rule is for me, I have to be free to make my own choices, even if I don't really, you know, even if it's something that I didn't really particularly want to do, and he tells me I can't do it, I'm gonna do it then because I don't like being told what to do in any situation anymore.

SPEAKER_03 5:49

But it's a learning process. So I understood that she doesn't like being told not to do anything, so then I cannot I suggest things for her. So then I drive her into something, but just hey, I think we should do this, or we should, you know, maybe this is better for you. And then she ended up doing it. So then it's just about learning each other and and trying to manage, you know.

SPEAKER_00 6:09

I mean, you don't have a lot of the thing is that with Sergio, I think weirdly, even with the age difference, we have the same goals, right? So we don't have a lot of things that we disagree on other than things like I mean, you know, you leaving things around the room, the tidiness drives me nuts because as you can see, I like to eat dinner off the floor. Um, and he will get out of the shower and just literally drop everything exactly where they are.

SPEAKER_03 6:35

But I mean, Caroline Gay in the southwest without anything, so then I have to bring her everything.

SPEAKER_00 6:38

So they get to take the towels and all the things. I'm always missing things past the shower hat, past this. But that's not I mean, more it's more about the type.

SPEAKER_03 6:47

Yeah, non-negotiables. I mean, I have a few, but in general, we are just trying to, you know, understand each other and you know, just he doesn't want us to travel without each other ever. Because I believe when you get distance from each other and you do things, you know, like on a daily basis that it doesn't involve the other partner, you get used to it. And I think that's the beginning of an end.

SPEAKER_01 7:10

So is that a rule you both agree to? You always travel together, you're never really apart.

SPEAKER_00 7:14

No, and I'm pretty open to it just because I was married 18 years and that was part of the problem. You know, we both had our own lives, and the distance did create a boundary, you know. So I'm I've I've done it this way. And sometimes, of course, you know, you're going, oh, love a girl's trip or love all this, but then you know, in the grand scheme of things, it's not really that important.

SPEAKER_01 7:36

You know, I was told I would never be able to have a baby. I had cancer twice and was told I'd have to live with that forever. I got run over and was told I couldn't walk for six months, and I actually walked in six weeks. And each time I got that diagnosed, I thought, no, this is my mind, my rules. I bounced back from cancer. I had a perfect baby. I recovered from being run over super fast and I used the techniques in this book. In fact, I wrote this book while I was in plaster, having been run over. Because the things that made me bounce back will make you bounce back from relationship issues, wealth issues, childhood issues, confidence issues. If you want to live your life on your terms and have love, success, health, wealth, even the body of your dreams, it's all in here. Buy it and change your life forever. See, for a relationship to work, you must have three things. And I think you do have them, but I'm going to ask you about it. The first thing you must must have is best friend chemistry, which basically says if I'm going to a desert island, you're coming with me. Best friend chemistry is that you realize that this is the person you choose to do things with if you can only pick one. You also must have sexual chemistry, it's very important. And a lot of people say I've got sexual chemistry, but I actually really like this person, but the sex is so good it doesn't other people say no, we're best friends, we do everything together, but actually we don't even have sex, it doesn't really work. And both of those are wrong. Unless you're much, much older. Even then it's not quite, it's not a great idea. And the third thing you must have is mutual respect and admiration. That's the thing that will make if you have best friend chemistry, sexual chemistry, and you respect and admire each other and each other's rules, you'll probably stay together forever. So let's talk about the sexual chemistry first, because it's very important. People always think, oh, you know, when you have a younger husband, you must be having sex all the time and you never have any time to yourself. And everybody wants to know about that. And I know you're very honest about it.

SPEAKER_00 9:27

Um obviously, you know, like at the beginning, you're like bunnies, and you know, he's 20 years younger, so his libido is on another level to mine. Um, but yeah, we do, and that's how we also really connect with one another. So that's how we, if we argue, how we make up, how we, you know, that's it's a really big thing for us, Sergio and I.

SPEAKER_03 9:47

We try to make time for it because it's very easy to go through life and just kind of forget about, you know, the sexual, you know, chemistry or you know, life takes over with a lot of people. Yeah, so then it's hard to focus on that, and then we really make sure we have those moments for us.

SPEAKER_01 10:01

And that's good because when you when you schedule it, you're prioritizing it because it's the glue that makes your relationship so special.

SPEAKER_00 10:07

So And I think when you are best friends, you can schedule it. I think if you're just with somebody who's just a lover, yeah, it's much harder to call up and go, you know, um right now. And they're like, well, it doesn't suit me. Um, whereas we can, you know, do everything at um at any time.

SPEAKER_03 10:25

But you go through videos, for example, I don't know, like the last two weeks of traveling, like you know, like I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 10:30

Yeah, in the middle of this with three with the kids here, yeah. This is not the most fun time to be.

SPEAKER_03 10:35

When you're in stress, when you have chaos in the house, it's just it's not as easy to get into that stage.

SPEAKER_00 10:40

But then, you know, when you travel and you are so when we get on a plane, then you you know, you're like bunnies again. So it's it just depends as well where you are. I mean, we're going through a war right now and the kids are up and down like yo-yos. So, and I get why other couples, if you've got younger kids as well, it's it's hard, but you know, at the same time, I think that you know, little things lead to it as well.

SPEAKER_03 11:03

It's a rule for me, I always put into myself to make sure I push or I make an effort to create that space because a lot of husbands they don't do it, and and you get you lose, you know, that chemistry.

SPEAKER_01 11:13

Yeah, the brain is very brutal with this use it or lose it in anything. So if you don't use something, you tend to lose it. The less, the less you have sex, the more it becomes normal.

SPEAKER_02 11:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:24

So it's very important that you see how really important that is and schedule it, which you're doing. So well done, you. What about the best friend? People get very curious, they go, Oh, does that mean I take my husband to the nail bar and we shop together? No, it doesn't. It means that you recognize that this is your best friend and you have that chemistry, not well, I'm out with my friends, you go out with yours, we don't like anything together. You know, my husband doesn't really like the same kind of TV shows as me, which is a challenge.

SPEAKER_03 11:53

No, but actually, look, it's very interesting that topic because as much as we are, I I believe one of the most compatible couples out there because we really, you know, spent 24 hours together for the last eight years. At the same time, we are very different from each other. Like, you know, I love sweet, see love salti, see what's drama, I love action. Like we have so many things that it doesn't make sense, you know, relating to, but at the same time, because we are completely opposite, brings us together.

SPEAKER_00 12:19

He loves to cuddle all night. I need to go the other side of the bed and not get the heat. Well, you know, we make fun of it. I'm boiling right now, too. Yeah, me too.

SPEAKER_01 12:28

Yeah. But you do have best friend chemistry and and you work on that because at the end, at best friend chemistry really want the best for each other. You enjoy each other's company, you do stuff together.

SPEAKER_00 12:39

And and he does come to the nail salon with me. He comes to the hair salon with me, and he'll sit there and literally be happy to do that. And we do everything together.

SPEAKER_03 12:48

For me, life is way too beautiful to spend it alone when he doesn't have you don't have to be alone. So then if I'm traveling to London, why my best friend partner is not gonna come with me? It's just so much more enjoyable. So that's my philosophy in life. If she goes to the hair salon, I'm gonna go there because then we I can chat to her, you know, look at her, drive her, we have fun.

SPEAKER_01 13:06

Do you go to the hair salon with with Sergio too? God knows. Never, never, but it's a lot quicker. Your salon's probably 10 minutes. Yeah, mine's about three hours. So do you have to work on your best friend chemistry or is it quite natural?

SPEAKER_00 13:19

No, it's very natural. I think that's the age difference, too. I think if I really look at it, it was, you know, it's very playful, very fun. You know, yes, he can absolutely wind me up to uh into a bobbin, but you know, we always end up laughing, you know, and I think that's a big yeah, you know, like our fights we end up tickling each other, or you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 13:41

But that's mainly I would say because of the age gap, to be honest. Because if I could be, I don't know, 50 and you know, she just explodes with all these hormones, like how she's explodes, then maybe I wouldn't take it the same way.

SPEAKER_00 13:54

So I'm definitely getting grumpier.

SPEAKER_03 13:56

Oh my god, it's like a different level. I'm just it's like a roller coaster, I'm just trying to balance, you know. But it's we're learning each other, you know.

SPEAKER_00 14:02

But he's much more, he's really good. I think he knows more about menopause and all of that than any man I know.

SPEAKER_03 14:08

I'm an expert.

SPEAKER_01 14:08

So you can you read each other very you can read Caroline really well. You know when she's getting hangry or irritable, and you're there with something.

SPEAKER_03 14:16

I think I'm very good at observing, and I think that's that really helps.

SPEAKER_01 14:20

He meant knows when to walk away. Yeah, and to give you space too and to back off. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:25

And that really helps to understand each other, you know.

SPEAKER_01 14:27

Well, when you can read each other, that's amazing. Because that that is a best friend chemistry. You say, I know when my wife's hormonal or when she's having it, I know when my wife needs, I know when my husband needs some time. So that's what best friend chemistry is. That loves you to really understand, but not take it personally. Yeah, I think space is still very, very important for everybody. And what about the mutual respect and admiration? Tell me about that.

SPEAKER_00 14:50

Well, I mean, you know, for me, I admire Sergio just for knowing where he came from at that 20 being 24 and persevering with someone with a family. And, you know, first of all, as I've always maintained, to get to the first, you know, Real Madrid um, it's the top 1% in the world, to get an MBA and a master's, something I don't have, you know, and so that always showed me that he was dedicated and he was clever and he was, you know, going to push through. And the way he handled my kids, my family, and holding this together was not easy for him, you know. So I have a lot of admiration because most men would have walked a million, you know, a million times. He doesn't have to be here. You know, he's a handsome man, he can do anything he wants. He doesn't, he does, doesn't I'm not shackling him here. He could be anywhere else and he wants in the world, especially now. You know, we've got a lot of successfully successful businesses together. You know, he he's he's an attractive prospect, so he's very committed.

SPEAKER_03 15:53

From the beginning, I never put any of that first, and I went with my feelings and I felt that energy and that you know synergy that we have together. And I said, okay, this is very different, I'm gonna stick to it. And that's why we are we are where we are today.

SPEAKER_01 16:05

Because I know when you met Caroline, she wasn't really successful on the house, right? You were going through a very bitter court case, you had three much younger children, so you saw a different Caroline. I know you saw the heart. You really wanted to look after her, didn't you? Tell me about the heart that you saw.

SPEAKER_03 16:20

I saw someone who, I don't know, she has just a beautiful heart. She she was this tough woman on the outside, but the inside it was just like a beautiful, you know, very genuine and real person. And I fell in love with that combined with the chemistry and how how much fun we had together. And I also, for me, my personal, you know, case is see kind of, you know, I met her when I was 24 years old. See, you know, I was a bit lost because I finished my career from football, I just finished my master. I didn't really know, you know, what direction I wanted to take in life. So she took me from there in a way and built the person I am today. That's why for me I have a lot of admiration for her because you know, I look up to her in many different ways. From the family side, because I would see build, you know, with the beautiful kids, from the business side, from you know, she's she's my mentor in many ways, you know. So then I will always respect her, look up to her and take care of her. And I always said that.

SPEAKER_01 17:15

But you also feel very much that that comes back. It's not a one-way street. While you're respecting and admiring her, you know in your heart that she respects and admires you.

SPEAKER_02 17:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:24

I wouldn't have done, you know, like, look at we're building a resort as well in Bali at the moment. Like that was all him. You know, I've been to Bali once in my life. You know what I mean? And I trusted his vision. And I think that's, you know, you have to you have to trust somebody next to you and watch them grow. And it look, if it was if it had gone horribly wrong, which it hasn't, but if it had, you know, you have to just go in and say, okay, so be it. But he has to learn on his own, you know, he was so young.

SPEAKER_03 17:53

Yeah, and that's one of the things I said in my wedding speech, actually. Like, you know, see I will always look up to her and take care of her because she was one of the ones who actually really believed on me and on us. Yeah. In general for life, because so many people, you know, when she had, you know, was coming from a stable, you know, situation to a completely, you know, meeting at 24 years old and rebuilding again, that is very difficult. And she believed on us and she stick to it.

SPEAKER_00 18:19

I mean, yeah, I think the respect in that belief is very apparent because, you know, otherwise I would have chosen a 50-year-old established man and not gone through any of this, you know, because I was in the middle of a divorce, a court case and losing everything.

SPEAKER_01 18:34

But that's actually a great thing. And I was always very grateful that my daughter's father didn't pay for everything. Because if he had, I would have sat at home, got the school please paid for me and a therapist. But because I had to do it all myself, I became a writer, a speaker, a creator of my own brand. And I'm always very grateful that I had to do that. So if you met a rich older husband, you wouldn't have been motivated. No, and look at all the fun we'd miss out on.

SPEAKER_00 18:57

Like you wouldn't be travelling and doing your book. I wouldn't be doing it.

SPEAKER_01 18:59

But also that sense of I did this, nobody helped me. So in a world where so many of us work from home and work for ourselves, motivation is a huge skill. You know, used to people think motivation is going to just turn up and it's there when you need it, but it isn't. Motivation is not there when you need it, it doesn't turn up. It turns up when you begin. So, how do you motivate yourself every day to get up, both of you? Because I know you spin a lot of plates. You've got, I'm going to come to all your businesses in a minute, because I want to talk about the rules of being an entrepreneur.

SPEAKER_00 19:34

I mean, I I think the motivation, I've always liked, I know this is as basic as this money, right? And I've always been controlled by it. Motivated by it, controlled by it too. Tell me about being controlled by it. Well, because you know, when you're taking it from somebody else and somebody's giving it to you, like your father, or you know, you're controlled by somebody else's rules. And so I've always from school wanted my own money. I wanted to make my own decisions. Money gives you the freedom, right? So that's that's where it came from. It wasn't just um just that I love like beautiful things. I didn't want to ask anyone again to have to have if I want that pair of jeans, I wanted to buy that pair of jeans. And that is what motivated me. And um, I went to work very, very quickly and I built a very, you know, many built big businesses at the time. Um, I've always been an entrepreneur. And when the money starts hitting your account, there's nothing more motivating than that. I still get excited. I mean, when you sleep and you wake up and and there's more money in your account when you've been asleep, you can't quite believe it. I mean, I I don't believe that ever goes away, does it?

SPEAKER_01 20:42

I don't think so. No. I remember the first time I came to the Burj Al Arab and I was running around and I thought, I never want to be jaded. I never want to be, oh yeah, look, I'm in a four-floor hotel room. I think it's very nice when you can still be excited by something beautiful, yeah. And I think it's important to hold on to that.

SPEAKER_03 20:59

Very important.

SPEAKER_01 21:00

Yeah. So you had a dream of being a footballer and that ended. How did you find motivation? Because you had to start all over again. Yeah, it was start when your dream ends.

SPEAKER_03 21:10

It was a bit difficult to be honest, but uh, since very early age, I've always been very entrepreneurial, always trying many different businesses. And actually, when I met Caroline, I was, you know, uh involved in a ticketing company setting up in Latin America. So I've always been like, you know, very driven, trying to do many different things. And I think that's something that really bond us together because both of us we really wake up.

SPEAKER_00 21:31

No, he was flying at 24 on a private jet with the owner of Chicago Bulls. Chicago Bulls. And even though the company didn't work out and the deal didn't go through, I said, no, you need to look at it differently. Most people would never have been able to get him on the jet.

SPEAKER_03 21:46

That's how it's tough because I worked eight months on Mexico, you know.

SPEAKER_00 21:50

But that's already success. Of course it is. That's enough. That's that's again incredible that you managed to achieve that, whether it went through or not.

SPEAKER_03 21:58

It got too big, to be honest, and but it You know, I always try to utilize all the contacts and connection from football to for business. So he's done incredibly well with it.

SPEAKER_00 22:06

And those were the things when everyone was telling me that this can never work, you know, and that you can't afford to have a 24-year-old, which is basically another child at the point that point. And how on earth are you going to support yourself and him? And you know, how did you answer that? Well it wobble. Of course I wobbled. You know, I I I would break up with him all the time, going, I can't do this. Like, how am I going to do this? I don't even have enough money for myself, let alone you. And he didn't know anyone here. It wasn't like he was coming with a built-in job or what he was going to do. He had to start and build everything here.

SPEAKER_01 22:38

But you saw in him ambition and an ability to take risks. Yes. Which is actually quite attractive to you because you're ambitious and you take risks. So I could see how that would be attractive for both of you.

SPEAKER_00 22:49

And I just saw that he, you know, in the middle of everything, he never gave up on himself or anybody around him, or me. You know, he's never given up on me.

SPEAKER_03 22:56

I lived in like seven countries. I tried businesses everywhere. So it was really, I knew I was gonna make it back. I just didn't know how or when. And I think meeting her really helped me to get that push.

SPEAKER_00 23:08

I gave him the confidence to take more risks, I suppose.

SPEAKER_01 23:11

Yeah, because he had you to fall back on. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 23:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:14

So people are looking at you two, and you know, in the world of AI, there are very few AI-proof careers. One of them is being an entrepreneur. There are very few businesses now where you could think, I'll go into that, and AI cannot take my business. Being a speaker, actually, interestingly, AI could never take that. But an entrepreneur is one of the few things that we can will always have to be good at. So if people were looking at you, both of you, and thinking, I want to be an entrepreneur, but where do I begin? What would you say, Carolyn, the rules for being not just an entrepreneur, but a very successful entrepreneur? What are the rules that you had to make and indeed break?

SPEAKER_00 23:52

Well, funny enough, you know, I'm doing these women's retreats right now. That's exactly what we're teaching. Because I think a lot of women think like that. Like they get overwhelmed with, you know, there's just too many ideas and too many things. And it's just narrowing it down and understanding your strengths. And I think the rules to an entrepreneur is number one, get it get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Um, number two, get comfortable with, you know, being failure. Number three, being, you know, able to get back up when you're down. And I think a lot of people just collapse and have victim mode, and you know that serves no one. And I think just being able to pivot in whatever direction it is, and you're absolutely right. There you go. So I've always said business is business. If you understand the art of numbers and people, you can do any business. It's all the same. And I think most people go, oh no, well, you know, I'm out of business now, like I'm a lawyer and they can get it on Chat GPT. So what am I going to do for the rest of my life? And that's just not so. If you have the skill set to start any uh that business, you could you could go into today drop shipping and fashion. Like whatever it's it doesn't matter if you've got good vocabulary and you're just your work ethic is good. I think that's all that's wrong with uh people today is that they don't w have a strong work ethic because a lot of times uh Instagram has made everything look so easily accessible for people that they don't want to really work anymore. But if they see what goes behind you, me, you know, we have teams of people that work day and night to make this happen for us. It is not just a pretty picture that you see on Instagram.

SPEAKER_01 25:31

But you see, what I see is people who say, Well, I'm just going to manifest. You know, I met someone some years ago when I was living in LA, and she'd created this quite it was actually a very clever protein bar. And I said to her, you know, this is a really good idea, and it's actually really a great taste. You need to go to a farmer's market. She said, Oh, I couldn't do that. No. I'm just manifesting a backer who's going to pay for it. I said, But but when you go to the farmer's market, you might find the backer. People will come past, they'll take yourself. She said, No, no, no. I don't believe in that. I believe that I've got a product and I shouldn't have to work. Never have to work, that's not right. I just believe I've made it. But but but but you haven't, it's just a protein bar. You have to work at 10 farmers' markets. That's also what I believe is wrong with the words. That is not what manifesting is. And lo and behold, she's still got the protein bar, and nothing's happened. And actually, one other sh store offered to take it, but she she'd have to come in and promote it. You know, Sunday Riley talks a lot about how when she was in Sephora, she was in there 10 hours a day walking around with her products. So I think a lot, a whole generation have missed out on the fact that you can have a brilliant idea, you can look amazing, but you still got to work really, really hard. You know, I used to be a dance teacher at Pineapple Dance, and Tina Turner would be there six days a week and Mick Jagger too, and they would work out for nine hours. But people who are good make it look easy. So you see Tina Turner on stage and go, look, she can just move. But you never see how much work goes on behind the scenes. So you said your teamwork cover, you actually work many hours, how many hours a day do you work on the whole?

SPEAKER_00 27:08

We started at five 4 30 today, which I mean, you know, it's very weird as you you know, we're in the course with the noises wake us up. But you know, I don't know how many. I I don't consider a work day I don't have it. It's not a good thing.

SPEAKER_01 27:22

Because I is an entrepreneur, there is no nine to five.

SPEAKER_03 27:24

Actually, yesterday, someone who just hired, he's like, please tell me what times you were because I want to respect your time. And I'm like, look, unfortunately, I don't have any time, so just text me anytime because that's the mentality of the society now.

SPEAKER_00 27:35

It's like there's stick to these days and I'm nine to five off.

SPEAKER_03 27:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:39

And that's why, you know, if you want to get ahead today, you have to be, you know, really, really open to do anything. And I still have that in me, and I'm 50 this year, and you know, I have a level of success now that I don't need to as much as I did need to, but I want to.

SPEAKER_01 27:58

Yeah, because it it also you see, when you talk about it, you become quite animated. So you're very lucky in that you actually like business, you like it, it excites you, it gives you something. And when you do what you love and you love what you do, it doesn't really feel like work. So I think it's harder for someone who says, Oh gosh, that just looks so hard and so time consuming. But because you love it, it doesn't feel like that. I love this expression of when hope dies, old age runs to meet you. But when you have something exciting, that never happens. So tell me how many different businesses you have? I know the audience will be surprised when they know. Okay, I always forget some, so let me think.

SPEAKER_00 28:36

Well, we have um the podcast, we have we're building a community um off San Zabar in Pember, which is just literally came because we wanted to do a community for ourselves.

SPEAKER_03 28:46

In Tanzania.

SPEAKER_00 28:47

Tanzania, exactly.

SPEAKER_03 28:48

We're doing a hotel, Longevity Hotel in Bali.

SPEAKER_00 28:51

Longevity Hotel in Bali. Um we're doing a hair salon. I bought yeah, I bought a hell hair salon, which you have to come to. How's it going? How's it doing? I had no idea. I thought I would just be propping that one up, but it's actually going might prop me up.

SPEAKER_01 29:05

Um again, because AI are never really going to be able to do women's hair. The idea you could put your head in a machine and it will cut it. Yeah. But also the the the stylist will give you an idea and you have a relationship and you like to stick to the same one. So there's a whole I can't imagine how AI could ever be a hairdresser.

SPEAKER_00 29:21

Women's retreats have been really really big and successful for us now, and we're just organizing another two in Bali. Um, so what's that, seven or eight? That's the label or where I'm wellness brand on the shopping channel in America. Is that what is your wellness brand? What is your wellness brand selling? Gummies. Gummies. So like you know, um health from the inside out. So we do gummies, but they never hit the the floor because are you going into peptides as well? I've got peptides coming now. I went into business with my um longevity doctor who is at the number one anti-aging doctor. He's fantastic.

SPEAKER_01 29:57

Is it in America or here? Yes, in LA.

SPEAKER_00 29:59

Okay. So he's he and I have got those coming. Um brands. Oh, yeah, and we're face of many luxury brands right now. And you haven't mentioned the uh Stanbury Towers, the Airbnb.

SPEAKER_03 30:11

Oh my god, I forgot that, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:13

That's 11.

SPEAKER_03 30:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:14

Stanbury Towers. Yes, um, which you know is is great. So we have um five apartments now, but they're always started with one, didn't you?

SPEAKER_01 30:22

You started with one, you tested the market. So if somebody was looking at you, a young girl, a young guy, going, Well, you got 11 businesses. Where do I just let me start with one looking at the market? What advice would you give to someone?

SPEAKER_00 30:37

Well, exactly that. Like, you know, the only reason I can can forget them is because, you know, Stanbury Towers is run by AirDXB. Yeah, so someone else runs it. They run everything. I created it. I created it's gone.

SPEAKER_03 30:50

So the ecosystem is all outsourcing everything around.

SPEAKER_00 30:53

My hair salon is run by my partner because she's, you know, we're 50-50 and she has been voted the best, you know, hair hair stylist in North America twice. Um, you know, so everything my partners in in um the building work, they're they're running, they're doing 18 projects in Zanzibar. I'm not building it, I designed it. I've I'm in all the design meetings and I came up with a concept.

SPEAKER_01 31:16

So you have a concept, then you find a business partner, and then you do work very hard to get it off the ground, but then you can step back and build another business because it it's running itself.

SPEAKER_00 31:27

What I would say is, you know, and and they begin to run themselves and you begin to sort of obviously you need to keep up, and every you know, you meet with people and you you have weekly meetings with your teams and things like that, but like you know, it's it it it it gets easier. So each business has its own ecosystem. I am not having to work the day-to-day of each of them. Obviously, that is not possible, but once you've got one up and running, you know, and I'm not suggesting actually, I uh well, it was you that told me we we needed seven businesses. Anyone needs seven.

SPEAKER_03 31:59

You need Arbeid Millionaire has at least seven businesses.

SPEAKER_01 32:02

Of course, I think Tony Robbins has something like 32.

SPEAKER_00 32:06

So, you know, and I think in what I was taught growing up is um was it um Jack of all trades, master of none. And I've understood that's wrong. Of course it's wrong, completely the wrong way around. And I was always so I always undersold myself because of that.

SPEAKER_01 32:21

I think that optimism when you've got such your businesses, if you looked at them, they actually would they've all got a theme. So I could say I'm a therapist and a writer and a speaker, um, but they but they all have they all have the same theme. I think it's when you've got a lazy when you're saying I'm building a house and I'm doing something else completely different, and none of them link together, and then it can be very they're all female-based, you know, wellness. That's your common female-based, they're about wellness, wellness and longevity, they're about community, yeah. And even your um accommodation is about pleasure and joy and relax and being around beautiful things.

SPEAKER_00 32:59

Yeah, well, you know, my accommodation is based on my home, so I've I've welcomed you into my my world. It's not just a beige apartment that uh there are plenty of. You either love them or you hate them.

SPEAKER_01 33:11

Your commodore is really you, yeah. What you look like, what you've aspire to, what what gives you joy?

SPEAKER_03 33:16

I feel like we're very good at delegating. Yeah, that's one of the things I would.

SPEAKER_01 33:19

And that was a question I was just about to ask you. How do you pick staff? Because of course, that's when you've got a lot of businesses and you're not really running them anymore. What are your rules for picking people who you know, A, will run it very well, B will not rip you off? What are your rules for finding the right staff? Because that must be so important.

SPEAKER_00 33:40

Well, that's something, you know. Of course, we've kissed a lot of frogs too, but we have a team that we once we find them, we don't let them go. So let's just start with all the houses I've ever done, all the apartments I've ever done, are done by Kate at Blush, who you know, right? And she's even helped with Barley, too. So we've worked together 12 years now. So, you know, that just takes that off me. I have design meetings, but I I don't, you know, with her and her team. You trust her, you can actually delegate to her completely.

SPEAKER_03 34:10

We have fine good people, we just make sure that they we just keep them always for us.

SPEAKER_01 34:15

But how do you keep them? Because that's the thing.

SPEAKER_00 34:17

My Megan has been with me since she's 19. She's 31. So what did I do this year? Obviously, look, I um I can't afford to pay giant, giant salaries to everyone. So I put it on, they have a nice salary.

SPEAKER_03 34:30

And they've got equity in some businesses.

SPEAKER_00 34:31

Put them in equity or put them on commission, right? As well, on top of what. So any job she gets me, um, any retreat we book, she gets, you know, a percentage of all of it. So when she sees the money come in for her, so if she's booking my my um my uh you know, things on Instagram and she sees I'm paid this amount of money, she if she if she does the negotiation for all of it, and then she'll take a percentage. And she takes a percentage of every single person that books the retreats.

SPEAKER_01 35:03

So you incentivize them, which is a good thing. Yeah. How many times a day do you post on Instagram?

SPEAKER_03 35:09

My God, that's a big one. So we have a whole Society now we post 19 times a day.

SPEAKER_01 35:13

19 times a day. Because you see, there are rules to being successful, and a lot of people don't know what the rules are, and one of the rules that really surprises people is you must do what you do not want to do to get to where you want to go. And there are people who would rather give up their dream than do what they do not want to do. But to make it, you'd go, okay, I want to go over there, and there's also nice bits, but you have to be able to do what you do not want to do. And people are always surprised that people write at the top. You know, I went to uh see Ricky Gervais and he does 75 walmarks for every show. Just rents a little theatre and does a walk, and people say, Oh, you're so lazy. He's like, lazy? He's rehearsed 75 times. But people who are good make it look so easy. So again, if you see Mick Jagger dancing, you think, well, he's just he's just got the moves. They don't see all the rehearsal, they don't see someone like J-Lo probably doing a 10-hour workout rehearsal to get it just right. So people who make it will do what they don't want to do. They get up early, they work really hard, they post 19 times. Other people say, Oh, well, you know, look at that person, and it's just luck. But people who are lucky tend to work extraordinarily hard. They often outwork people who are the who are they're not as talented as, but also they have what I call the bounce back factor. When something goes wrong, they just bounce back. We all know that J.K. Rowling got rejected over and over again, but she came back. So the rules of success are very clear. Do we do not want to do? Do it first, on your way to success, take action every single day in the direction of your goals, even if it's just for five minutes. Like if I'm writing books on my day off, I'll research what's selling. I might just do some grammar check, but I'll do something every day because it makes you makes you stay on that road to success. But the other things you must do, you must tell everyone you're good and you must praise yourself a lot. Because when you work for yourself and no one else is saying this is great, you have to say this is great, this is amazing. And yet people look at these seven walls, go, no, I just think our manifest. But actually, do you know any manifestors who don't work extraordinarily hard?

SPEAKER_00 37:20

No, and I've always said, because I I love manifestation, I love visualization, I love all of it, but I've always said it's not a magic wand. Manifesting and visualizing is really about, you know, saying that you can do it and mapping it out. And you have to have steps. It's not about just seeing the end game.

SPEAKER_01 37:36

Yeah, there's an expression I love that says the lift to success is out of order, but the stairs always work. And it's so true that the lift to success isn't going. But if you take the stairs, you'll get there. It's just longer and harder. What do you think? What would you say manifesting is to an audience that really look up to you? What do you think manifesting is?

SPEAKER_00 37:57

Having a clear vision. Um, seeing, you know, as you said, I always say um seeing it every day in front of my my my eyes. So I need that board, I need to see it. We have vision boards that we do every year. Yeah. So um, and then just sticking to the go doing is exactly what you said, two or three things in a day that lead to that goal.

SPEAKER_03 38:19

Yeah, because you're closer to that goal.

SPEAKER_00 38:21

And they they should be small ones, every take. Can be small, actually. Can be very small. And I think somebody, I can't remember whose book it was, but they said three things. Yeah. And um, and that and that was easy because it wasn't five, it wasn't ten, it was three little things that you can do to go f further forward that day. And that's all, and then it's not there's no magic to it. It will happen because you are moving in that direction.

SPEAKER_01 38:44

And it's also a virtuous circle because when you work hard, you tend to think, you know, I deserve this man working so hard. So you only ever manifest what you think you're worth. And before you can manifest anything, you need to work a bit on. I'm worth it, I deserve it. But the good thing is when you start to work towards it because you're putting some action in, you feel more like you're worth it. So it's a win-win. I actually I'm spending so much time on this, it deserves to work. Whereas if someone just gives it to you, it doesn't have the same impact. What is manifestation to you, Sergio?

SPEAKER_03 39:16

The same Dubien is. I have a routine every single morning. I go into overcloset, I put my watch, and then as I'm leaving, I have my vision board there and I look at it for it could be 30 seconds, but I just look at it for a moment and I start my day. Every single day I do that. And it's just, you know, waking up with a clear vision, and I know as I look at that, I know exactly I'm gonna go down and start working on, you know, just getting closer to those goals.

SPEAKER_01 39:42

Yeah, because because the vision board is okay, I've got this, and I really believe in vision boards, but they actually show you the end goal, but you have to take all the steps to get there. The best plan won't work if you don't. But actually, if you can do three things really well, you'll move closer to success. And those three things are massively increase your self-talk. Don't allow yourself to say, oh, that's gonna go wrong, or what if they don't like me? So you have to massively, massively up yourself talking. How do you describe dialogue with yourself? I'm gonna do it, I'm on it, I'm worth it, I'll whatever it takes, I'll do it. And while you're massively increasing that, you have to massively minimize the negative. Who am I? I don't have a degree. So while you're doing those two things, you also have to visualize a thing you want. You know, all Olympic athletes will tell you they visualize everything for me, for example, breaking a world record.

SPEAKER_03 40:34

There's never there's never a no for an answer. Yeah, there's always a way, it doesn't matter what like there's always a way.

SPEAKER_01 40:41

And if you believe that, you will find it. So, my actually, one of my final questions, I have a few more, was about raising boys. Have you seen the manosphere?

SPEAKER_00 40:49

No.

SPEAKER_01 40:50

So the manosphere is rather alarming. You obviously know who Andrew Tate is. It's these people who were kind of like Andrew.

SPEAKER_03 40:57

I know what you're talking about, yes.

SPEAKER_01 40:59

And they've got this thing about oh, they have uh what do they call them? A high-value man. They work out in the gym, they're very musterly.

SPEAKER_03 41:05

You we watched it the the other day, it's the video with all these with Louis Thurum. Male influencers who in Marbella, the guy who went to Marbella, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:13

But what I saw when I looked at that was something else. I saw all these men that didn't have a father, they were raised by single parents, and they didn't have a good role model. I call them the lost boys because then they get into like a cult. It's the same thing as people who get into a gang. I mean, and I know you have your children have a very good and present father, but you're raising two teenage boys. When you see someone like Andrew Tate and his messaging, which is everywhere, and Andrew Tate's actually in Dubai now. How do you counteract that with your two boys here in Dubai?

SPEAKER_00 41:46

Well, I mean, first of all, I think just because I had quite a cold upbringing, I'm much warmer with my kids. My kids spend a lot of time with me. They're very polite, very polite. They have a lot of respect for women. And, you know, I talk to them a lot. And I'm just, you know, I actually am very emotionally connected to them, which is, you know, amazing. And um, I think it's incredibly sad, and I speak about it a lot that we want to um beat emotion out of men, and that, you know, uh, it's bad for a man to cry, it's bad for a man, yeah, bad for a man to say you they love you. My sons don't go to bed any night without saying I love you about 50 times to me. And they always have, and there's 16 where it's uncool, and they still do it. And on the, you know, if I'm with their friends come over, they'll have, you know, 15 teenagers here and they'll still go, Mom, I love you, in front of everyone. They don't have a problem saying it. And, you know, I think I'm doing quite a good job in that respect.

SPEAKER_01 42:46

What about you? Because of course you're obviously influencing these boys. You're the another father vigil. I know they love you very much. What's it like for you to raise young boys in this world of again the manosphere where men have young boys have such strange role models now?

SPEAKER_03 43:02

It's not easy to be honest, because I see how these young boys they really look up to these manly figures, you know, like Andrew Tatum and all these guys, because you know, they're strong, powerful men who actually, you know, they just they're very successful and you know, they're lonely.

SPEAKER_01 43:16

Well, they have a sheen of being they're probably not successful. I think it's a bit of a sheen, but they pretend they're making a lot of money on crypto, and they they've always got to find someone to blame. It's an interesting thing. You create a cult with high value men, but now we've got to blame someone. So I'm blame women.

SPEAKER_00 43:33

I don't want them to go anywhere near crypto, you know, anything like that. I've never met someone particularly in crypto I've ever liked. So I So you're very you advise them. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 43:43

And I'm even me I think I would say no shortcuts.

SPEAKER_00 43:45

You know, those kind of men are, you know, they're finding the quick buck.

SPEAKER_01 43:50

Yeah, if it looks too good to be true, it is.

SPEAKER_00 43:52

And only someone's clutch the other side. They've stolen it or taken it. Yes. So what we've got to do.

SPEAKER_03 44:00

You know, they create this persona, and I always talk to them. I'm like, look, you need to go to the normal route. All these guys that just you know per trade in, they are like this persona, but they just want to, you know, drive all the younger generations into that. Because they watch us, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 44:13

Well, I was fair to say that that you you are like they see how hard you work, they see it's not easy, they see there is no quick road.

SPEAKER_03 44:21

You you've done the interesting because before, maybe because they were much younger, they didn't see like or appreciate as much as well.

SPEAKER_00 44:29

I think the end goal hadn't arrived. Now they're looking at their bedroom on a house on an island. Yeah, so now they have like thinking about the hotel, you know, working in the hotel, you know what I mean? It's it's now they're seeing it. They've now they've got the apartments, they can go there and see it.

SPEAKER_03 44:44

So when I'm talking about it versus when it's arrived, now they are like, okay, now I really see what you guys do, and I I want to be involved. I wanna so they, for example, even with social media, they see, you know, like how much work we do in it, and they don't mind to be in it now, which compared to two or three years ago, they were absolutely not. So it is, you know.

SPEAKER_01 45:02

Do they talk about the kind of career they want? You say you have two 16-year-old boys and 19-year-old girl. Let's talk about your sons first. Do they have they shown an interest in a particular career?

SPEAKER_03 45:12

Actually, Zach, I would say he's very entrepreneurial, very driven, and he's always asking me to let's do business together, let's do this. So I'm I'm no worrier at all for him because he's gonna be extremely successful, and he's gonna work with us. And he's gonna work hard, hard, very hard because he knows he wants the life he wants. Yeah, he knows he needs, you know, he's gonna be a good thing.

SPEAKER_00 45:31

He's got a very elevated, very different kind of friendly.

SPEAKER_03 45:35

The cityful he's involved, you know.

SPEAKER_00 45:37

So he sees crazy things, so he wants it. So I think that drives it.

SPEAKER_01 45:41

But he sees really hard work, too.

SPEAKER_03 45:44

Yes, yeah, but I think and we keep him on the ground as well, which is very important, I think.

SPEAKER_00 45:48

He's not spoiled, but then you know, um, and he'll come back from a crazy weekend and say, Mom, they spent this on a table. I think it's ridiculous. So he still has that.

SPEAKER_03 45:57

Yeah, and then Aaron is a bit different. Aaron, I think, is much more maybe you know, less less driven, and he will probably go corporate for sure, you know. It's just I think you have to be built into being an entrepreneur, you know.

SPEAKER_00 46:10

I've I think he's happy to work with someone, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 46:13

And I think that's probably the hassle is not for everyone, I would say, you know.

SPEAKER_00 46:16

And your daughter, I know she's at university in London. So my daughter is doing business and marketing, and you know, I think she's still figuring it out, but I think she wants to be in this world somewhere, you know, sort of doing um Instagram and um working for like a PR marketing firm. She likes certain parts of it. She doesn't particularly want to be, I don't think, in front of the camera.

SPEAKER_01 46:39

Do they like the fame? I mean, they don't really appear with you, which I think is very clever. You know, if you look at the Beckhams and very that very sad as what's happened with Brooklyn Beckham because the fame was just but you both love it and hate it at the same time. He keeps talking about how he wants his privacy while constantly appearing. So it's I think it's a good thing to keep them away from it. I've never kept them away, I've just said whatever you want to do. But you don't actively promote them. No, never.

SPEAKER_03 47:06

We let them be.

SPEAKER_00 47:06

And isn't that it just-you do keep them away because you don't really they're not in your podcast.

SPEAKER_01 47:10

No, they're not when you're doing so, they're not on it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 47:12

So I don't feel that's fair to do to a child until they've made that decision. No, I think you're absolutely right.

SPEAKER_03 47:17

And but now they've made it actually, interestingly enough.

SPEAKER_00 47:20

Now they've made it and they kind of want to be they want to do certain things, but on their own terms, not like if I say come down right now and do this, they'll be like, Mom, I've got stuff to do. You know, but if they they're like sometimes with their walking paths, maybe they're interested, then you know, but that's not a career. That's something that they, you know, they're very up and down with. So, you know, I can't count on them as the thing to do it with me. Um, and I don't want them, you know, also they're teenagers, they get embarrassed at school. Um, they blocked me on TikTok. Because, yeah, so I mean, I understand I'm the most embarrassing human on TikTok. All mothers are embarrassing, but you have to recognize that. They're not upset about it, they're just like we'd rather not see it.

SPEAKER_01 47:58

So, what has fame given you? What is I'm gonna ask you both, what has fame given you, Caroline?

SPEAKER_00 48:03

What's it given you? So much, actually. It's given me a platform. I mean, see, I've had a really nice amount of fame, which is probably like, you know, where you can dip in and out. I can walk down streets, obviously. I mean, now we're very recognizable because there's two of us, and but people are respectful, they're not screaming in my face, um, unless you're in New York and some places, you know, the it's American way. But, you know, I you get a very nice level of fame where you can dip in, dip out, and get and use it to your advantage. And it hasn't ruined my family or, you know, and I've taken nice breaks. I had six years off, and you know, we've got a we've had a what a year and a half, two-year break now. I'm still filming one show or another, but the shows are over there and I don't live where the show is. So even when I film, I come home and this is my reality. Nobody's screaming or telling me how amazing I am here. So I don't know it.

SPEAKER_01 49:00

So it's given you a lot, and what I like is that you express gratitude of that. You're not you never complain about it.

SPEAKER_00 49:06

Oh my god, I'm s I'm I'm 50 years old and I've still got TV shows. I've still got I can walk into parties in LA and see everyone I know and have that amazing feeling of like, oh, I belong, and then I can go away and forget about it for ages too.

SPEAKER_03 49:22

So I would say that's the most valuable thing. And you can step away.

SPEAKER_01 49:25

Yeah, so too, what's fame given you?

SPEAKER_03 49:27

For me, I could say, since little, I always say fame in any level, it gives you the extra minute with someone successful that can change your life. Because, you know, you really have a different career, a different you know, topic to talk about compared to anyone, you know, on a regular life. So then that can really open you so many doors. And that's really what happened to me, you know, because of football, because what I've doing and what I've done, you know, you really get that extra, you know.

SPEAKER_00 49:56

It may not close the deal, but it will get you through the door.

SPEAKER_03 49:58

Exactly. And that is the most important thing, you know. Then you have to be capable to, you know, to close it, you know.

SPEAKER_01 50:06

And what's it taken away from you? What's it cost you?

SPEAKER_03 50:10

I would say nothing, to be honest. Dedication, but I mean you want a dedication, you know, in any in any any any job, so you know.

SPEAKER_01 50:19

You had a dream for a long time of hosting retreats, and I know that you and Sergio have built this retreat, but it's women who are coming to a retreat, not men, isn't it? Women or women. What are they coming? What are the problems that women are coming to your retreats with? And how are you solving them for them?

SPEAKER_00 50:34

Well, I think, I mean, knowing me quite a long time, there's not a lot I haven't been through myself. And I always say, you know, look, there's a lot of work. I think what what it does is help people sort of see what they need to do. And when you have a group of very powerful women in a room, it's like a think tank. You can really solve anything. So the problems are everybody's problems really kind of get the same. I no matter how big their house or how many toys they have, they have, you know, they feel insecure when the children leave. Maybe they haven't had a job for a while. They want to know what their next steps would be. Maybe they're getting divorced and um maybe they've built a company, they've sold their company, now they want to know what to do with the rest, the next chapter. Um, it comes a lot with age. I think mid-40s, people women struggle to find who they are again. Um, and you know, they they miss connection because it's very hard. And I don't realize, I think because I have am well known, people always want to meet me. But I it's I think it's very hard for older women to meet people and connect today and meet people that are actually of the same ilk as them.

SPEAKER_01 51:40

Many people, I used to have an advice who write in and say, I I'm I moved to a village and I'm so lonely, or I've moved to my husband and I'm so lonely. What are you doing? They go, Well, I'm not doing anything. But but connection is a choice. If you are not choosing connection, you're choosing disconnection. So if you live in a tiny village, walk someone's dog, join a group, go to the local spa, even if you don't want to, but you have to go out there again. It's rather like success, it doesn't come to you, you must go to it. And connection is the same. It won't find you, you have to find it. So what you're doing is offering a connection. Come to this retreat. And once people see how easy it is, oh, I've connected with all these people, they'll probably go home and keep that going. Because again, you if you're not looking for connection, you're actually choosing disconnection. And connection is a human need. We are born needing connection. So I can see why they come and I love what they're coming for. What are you doing that's turning them around before they leave?

SPEAKER_00 52:44

I think they see that anything's possible because there are so many different stories within that room. And everybody comes, you sign an NDAA, and everybody tells their story of what attracted them specifically to this retreat. Let's face it, there's a lot of retreats out there. And yours is in Bali, is that right? Well, they're all over the world. How many do you have? So, well, and we've done um fourth one.

SPEAKER_03 53:05

We've done fourth one. We've done Arizona.

SPEAKER_00 53:07

Arizona in the desert. Right. The actual place really becomes the theme.

SPEAKER_03 53:13

It's experiential as well. So Arizona in the desert, we've done secure in the forest, and we've done Maldives in the beach. And now we're doing Bali. Bali in the jungle.

SPEAKER_00 53:21

And then we're doing Maldives again. So, but what happens is each place is magical. So you really leave your normal life, and so that you're forced to make these connections. And I always say to people, if you can come on your own, you know, and that's scary for people. Um, and and we have an amazing, amazing time. A lot of laughs, a lot, there's no yoga, there's no sound healing, there's no, it's not like a typical ri um retreat. Um, and but there's a lot of connections made, and there's a lot of help with made made. And even if I don't have the answer, someone else in that room does.

SPEAKER_01 53:53

So they're coming and they're learning what is possible by being around you, you're their role model, but other women too, so they realise they're not so different after all, and that they're and I'm not so unachievable.

SPEAKER_00 54:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:06

And if you can do it, anyone can do it. You know, people people believe that people who who've done well just have luck sprinkled on them, fairy dust. But often some of the most successful people look at Tony Robbins, look at Oprah Winfrey, look at Rihanna, they've actually come not just from nothing but from adversity. But they've still made it. So you have to have determination, phenomenal self-belief, but you can learn, and hard work. And you have all of this. Thank you. So thank you so much. So if you had one piece of advice to give people watching and say, you know, I can't right now come to a retreat, but I want success. I I want success. What would you tell them you have to do in order to have success?

SPEAKER_00 54:51

Well, there's no great secret, it's just action it. Get up and take one to two steps towards it. It they can be minor. Choose the name for your company, you know. Um, what would you sell? What would you buy? Whatever it is. Yeah. Just take the one step. I think when you get overwhelmed, when you are, now I've got to hire all these people, now I've got to buy all these things. I started one of my biggest businesses from my dining room table with one person. It grew into 87 people, and suddenly it just happened. I couldn't tell you how or why.

SPEAKER_03 55:24

If you look at any successful people, they never knew how to get there. But the difference from everybody else is that they did it.

SPEAKER_01 55:32

Yeah, they took they took action every day in the direction of their goals. So have an idea, find look at Martha Stewart. I mean, she's such a great example of someone who bounces back from a I met her three years ago. I thought she was just so cool. She was hanging out with Snoop Dogg. And she has a great work ethic. She works really hard.

SPEAKER_00 55:51

Never, you know, don't think anything is you know too strange. Like the community was born out of us being on holiday on another island. We were looking at land just for ourselves, and then we went to somebody who's a big developer over there just to borrow a lawyer for our land.

SPEAKER_03 56:09

We saw the vision, yeah. And everything slowly leaves.

SPEAKER_00 56:13

And then it led, and he goes, Well, why build one?

SPEAKER_03 56:14

You it led to a big community, so you know you see what I mean.

SPEAKER_00 56:18

If you if you say yes to everything, open, be in rooms you wouldn't normally.

SPEAKER_01 56:22

Yeah, because when you say yes, you can always say no, but when you say no, you can't say yes. You can't say yes, yeah. And also use social media, go and find someone else who's asper another person who came from nothing, had an idea, monetize their idea because that's why we're here to find our gift, work really hard at it, and then monetize it. So, did you ever use social media? Did you ever look at people and think, I want, I'm gonna aspire to what you've done? Did you ever have role models?

SPEAKER_00 56:47

I do that all the time, and I still have role models today. You know, I have many women that I've admired and that I've wanted to be like, not in a creepy way, you know, maybe in a very good if you have that, I want it. And I can do it too. Yeah. Um, I think there are many amazing women out there. Look at Emma Greed. Yeah, um, look at Nadia Azal. Yeah, look at any of these women who've achieved, I can assure you, none of them thought they'd be as big as they are too. Even Mel Robbins. I mean, she was a really unhappy lawyer, bro, bankrupt.

SPEAKER_01 57:18

And again, she did it herself. She just had an idea. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 57:22

Yes. So, you know, there are plenty, and I think it's extremely important to have someone to look up to. And did you ever think that you'd be that someone? No. And I can't believe yes, it's so nice that I am somebody's and I have people that I admire and want to be, and I know that I'm many people's, you know, because I have been down and I have been up, and I've, you know, I'm always do it with a smile. And that's all I can say to you. That positivity is your superpower today. You remain positive and kind, and I know it sounds basic and ridiculous, but that's all it takes because people will take you in and you will be able to do it. I it it's not about money today. Money is easily found.

SPEAKER_01 58:05

So, my last question is if it's not about money, define success. What is success for Caroline and Sergio?

SPEAKER_00 58:11

Oh, that's I get asked this one a lot. Super easy. Peace. Peace. Not, you know, I've been sued, I've got divorced, I've had panic for a long, many, many years. And I sleep completely peacefully. I don't worry about my my bills anymore. You know, all the things that used to panic me and wake me up. I don't have that anymore. So there isn't much that can shake me anymore. Peace. What's success for you, Sergian?

SPEAKER_03 58:35

For me, success, I would say, is not about the money, it's about the journey. It's about, you know, doing things that you love and enjoying the process.

SPEAKER_00 58:43

He's working in Bali with his father.

SPEAKER_03 58:46

Because a lot of people they focus on the end goal, but they forget about the process. And the process is really the most beautiful part of it. We always want to be able to do that. Because a lot of people, yeah, they they get to selling their company for 600 million, but then they get there and they're like, okay, what what what about now?

SPEAKER_01 59:00

Well, that's very much with Property Boserved. I've taken this house, I built it, I finished it, now I need another one because success is never the end goal, it's the journey.

SPEAKER_03 59:09

But my dad retired, he you know, was working in tech, and then we were not talking that much because he was always traveling. And then now he's working for me in a way in Bali running the project, and it is fantastic because I talk today to him every single day. And it's so beautiful to see that how you know he gave me back everything when I was little, and then I'm giving to him back in a different way.

SPEAKER_01 59:34

And I love that because people have this expression it's lonely at the top, and it's not lonely at the top, it's very crowded at the bottom. But if you look at people like the Osborne's, like Ed Sheeran, they've taken everybody with them. So you brought your dad with you, so it's not lonely at the top, in fact. You know, I have my daughter, my son-in-law, a lot of my family, my sister, my niece all work for me. Or I'd like to say work with me, actually. It's not lonely at the top, especially if you think, who can I take with me? And if you see money as taking people with you, you don't fear it anymore. Who's gonna push you more than your daughter and your you know your family, no one? Exactly. And then you also want to achieve for them, you want to make them proud of you. So success for you is you sleep perfectly. For you, it's bringing your father with you and having that family the journey or the family. The journey. So the journey and sleeping peacefully at night. Well, thank you so much. You've I've loved your rules, they've been amazing. And I think you are both great role models for not just a merit in a relationship, but being an entrepreneur, living your life on your terms. I'm saying to other people, if you want it, you can have it, but you have got to work for it. You've got to have a vision and hard work and self-belief. And you you need all three. You can't have just one of those the vision, the self-belief that you'll get there, and the workability to get there, and you have all of that. So thank you for sharing it and sharing. Thank you for having us. Thank you. It's been great. Thank you.